Healing As Collaboration

I recently gave a psychic reading to one of the collaborators on my new record. 

I worked with this lady on previous records and I always enjoy her. Not only does she know her stuff, but she's also down to earth, generous, and adept at making her clients feel comfortable in stressful situations. And she enjoys being part of a creative team – which is what making a record is all about.

Not surprisingly, but still unusual: almost all of her questions in the reading were about others in her extended tribe who were having a challenging time right now.

So I read their "mini-movies" – what I saw them experiencing, what they were creating in their lives in the near future, and the ins and outs of their particular scenarios. 

After the reading, she felt relieved and much lighter. Part of the message she got was that she could be there for the people in her life as a helper (in limited ways) and listener, but she really couldn't do more to solve their problems, as much as she wanted to. Fortunately, I saw, these characters in her life's drama were on the path of figuring things out for themselves. 

The insight that you can't solve others' problems for them can be a frustrating realization for a natural healer! Believe me, I know – which is one reason I learned specific techniques to help others connect with their own most fruitful and authentic energy vibrations.

But I still can do only so much without the collaboration of the person I'm working with.

After musing about this issue after the reading, I wrote my client/collaborator a little note:

"I think it's tough for those of us who want to help others, and for you with your especially strong clan associations, when we see those around us suffer. However, it doesn't really work (unfortunately!) to solve other people's problems.

"Somehow the way we are wired on this planet is that people have to solve their own problems, and inserting other folks' energies into someone's system more often than not gums up the works. Like pouring in diesel when that vehicle runs on regular gas.

"The best thing you can really do is to let that person know you see them. That validates where they are and what they are doing as a spirit.

"Then communicate from within your own space with the other person, always including a speck of amusement. Because usually the other person can start to match this spirit of mild amusement without even knowing it. This makes their own energies move more quickly and they can start to release what isn't them and what isn't working. 

"I'm sure you do this all the time with your clients!

"Even in the healing work I do (in which I'm working with the underlying energy system that is aligned with the body), the other person can recreate anything I changed IF she doesn't get the communication part. When it works, it's because that spirit getting the reading/healing does intuitively and/or analytically understand what we are working on together. 

"So, essentially, healing is a process of communication – and collaboration."

Probably this lady knew all this, but I liked writing her about it anyway. Part of my lingering impulse to help solve others' problems. (Ha ha.) (Plus I improved the note a bit for publication here.)

Of course, we can take specific actions that help others.

But that's very different from jumping into someone's personal space to tidy it up like a mad housekeeper.

(I don't mean that my correspondent/client/collaborator was doing that. But I know what it feels like to succumb to temptation and blunder on in. Never works out.)

When you stay aware of your own and others' energy boundaries, it reinforces the power and autonomy of all involved. How can we collaborate when we have become one big muddy entity?

Instead, start with just saying hello and asking the person in need what she wants. 

Even if she doesn't know the answer yet, she knows you are there asking the question. Which is a form of love.

copyright © 2017 Lisa Bernstein